My Friend Tries Committing Suicide
On Wednesday her co-worker was getting into her space and he wouldn't stop. This triggered flashbacks to being a kid with her family member molesting her. Luckily she asked for help. We told her to get into her car, lock the door, call her boss and call 911. She got into the car and left work but she didn't report it. She wanted to make sure she is okay. She also is a cutter and she told us she is cutting herself. Finally, she came to us. We thought she was doing okay, but I guess we were wrong.
Last night she took a whole bottle of Zoloft. There were more than 70 pills in the bottle.
She was suppose to come over to my house and do a real thanksgiving dinner because she has never had a real thanksgiving dinner. Then we were going to put the tree up and watch some Christmas movies. Well this didn't happen.
I am going to not use real names for privacy.
This morning we got a call from Bob saying she isn't talking right. She was telling him she randomly had two more cats in her house. My mom called her. She was making no sense. She ran over to her house. There she was laying on the ground out of it. She was in and out of blacking out. Her breathing wasn't good. Bob called 911 on his way to her house.
Finally, the cops came and then the ambulance showed up. They rushed her to the ER.
My mom picked me up and we flew to the ER. We get to the ER and see she had a huge gash in the back of her head and her lip was bleeding. The doctor comes in and asks questions. She kept saying she took the pills on Wednesday night, but yesterday she was at her roommates mother house for Thanksgiving. We told the doctor her situation and what happened on Wednesday. The doctor asked her what she did yesterday and she said she was with us. They couldn't pump her stomach because it isn't like she took all the pills an hour or so ago. She kept telling the doctor she took all of them on Wednesday, but her roommate's mother said she didn't act weird other than being quite.
The worst part is she can't remember when she was born or her mother birthday month. She barely remembered the street she lives in.
She didn't have her insurance card so she called her sister. You have to understand her family is very mentally and physically abusive to her. She is 22 years old and don't need her parents, but she is too afraid to stand up for herself. The next minute her sister is telling her she is flying from Georgia to Michigan tonight. The look on her face was panic and fear.
Then her co-worker who sent her into a sucide attempt called her. He was telling her to get her sexy butt out of bed because it is 1:00pm. Why did she miss yesterday? Get this she had this weekend off so there is no need for him to call her. I grabbed the phone and asked if he is at work and he said yes. I asked him if he worked with her on Wednesday. He replied "Yes." I told him I would like to speak with the manager ASAP. He did not want to let me talk to the manager. Finally the manager got on the phone. I told him exactly what happened. I also told him I don't know if she will press charges or not at this moment.
She finally got out of the ER and into a room at the Hosptial. We charged her phone. She listened to her voicemail and her manager said he has suspended the co-worker until everything is investigated.
Then to top it off the doctor said there a big chance she won't go to a psych hosipital because they can't force her to go.
What can we do? I am scared for her. She is so stubborn and makes every excuse why she can't go to a psychologist and/or psychiatrist.
I have learned some key warning signs:
- Says "I would be better off dead" "I'm not worth it" For example, my friend constantly was saying "I am going to the desert to die alone. You won't miss me."
- Hoarding weapons such as knives, pills and even guns. For my friend it was alcholol, drugs and knives.
- They have a feeling of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped. They believe it won't get better.
- Hate themselves.
- Feel guilty and shameful.
- Feel like a burden
- Withdraw from others. They want to be left along.
When you have someone you know who is talking about sucide or has tried to then it is important to:
- Listen to them
- Let them talk about what is upsetting them.
- Don't judge them.
- Stay calm.
- Let them know you love them and they are important to you.
- Take the person seriously. Ask them if they are feeling suicidal.
- Important to NOT argue with them.
- Dont make them feel bad by saying something like "Your suicide will hurt your family" or "You have so much to live for" or "Look on the bright side."
- Don't lecture them on the value of life.
- If you promise you will do something then do it. Don't make promises you can't keep.
- Don't try to fix their problems or give advice.
- Don't blame yourself. You can't make someone love themselves
How can you help them?
- Encourage them to seek help. My friend at this moment avoids it but I won't quit suggesting it here and there.
- Keep talking to them.
- Reassure things will get better.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great service. I did call them a few times to find out what I can do for my friend.
My friend learned she has lots of people who care about her. She had so many vistors today. I love her so much. It is so hard seeing someone you love go through this. Try to stay positive, show love and keep putting things in her path tha make her smile and enjoy life even if that is sending them funny cute memes 1-3 times a day.
Some really helpful resources and articles:
If you or someone you know is in crisis or in need of immediate help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis. I hope you found this to be helpful. I will keep you posted. Please send her prayers.
