Monday, July 16, 2018

I Lost My Best Friend

Hi readers. I have been struggling with life as we speak. My rock, my baby boy, my best friend past away the end of May.  As many of you know Jakie, my baby boy was suffering from sinus cancer and a liver mass. I was really hoping I could get one more year with him. I wanted to see him turn 17 years old. We didn't make it. He did, however, live longer than the vet told us. She told me 3-4 weeks, but he lived for 23 weeks.

He was doing so well in December- February, but by the end of March he cancer started taking over his right eye and his nose had a lot of discharge which had to be suctioned out 2-4 times a day. Then at the end of April, he started retaining fluid on his abdomen. The vet put him on water pills.  The vet was having me give him 2 - 1/2 tablets a day. I don't know if the water pills were killing his appetite or if the fluid plus the liver mass was causing him not to want to eat. He ate but nothing like he used to.  But because he wasn't eating much he was losing a lot more muscle and having a harder time getting up and down on furniture.  The 2 week of May his belly was so huge I thought for sure he was going to die right there in front of me. I called the vet and immediately got him in. I wasn't able to get him into his regular vet, but in some aspect, I was grateful because his regular vet seemed to really not do too much for him. The vet took him away and pulled out 1 1/2 pounds of fluid and he couldn't have kept going too. I wish the vet did this a lot sooner because maybe his appetite would have been better.  As a pet owner, it is incredibly hard to make the decision to put someone you love down when they are still eating, watching out the window, cuddling and going to kitty box in the basement even when you put one upstairs to make it easier.

Throughout this process, I was communicating with Jakie through a pet communicator. Judy Liu Ramsey was amazing. The stuff she said no one would know. I knew she was real when she was talking about him loved car rides especially looking at Christmas lights. He enjoys watching animal videos. His favorite toy was his butterfly catnip toy. I never told her any of that. There are no words to describe how much I appreciated her. She was able to tell me how he is feeling and what he wanted. Jakie told her he wants to die at home in my arms. When I first talked to her in December Jakie told her he wants to go naturally and not be put down with the medicine, but by May he was way too much in pain to go naturally. Plus, he told her he doesn't know if he can keep his body going to die in my arms.

Heart to Heart Animal Communication
By the third week of May, he started hiding more and only coming out at night. He was also fighting me to get his pills and supplements down. He also was only eating one canned cat food a day.  I knew it is time to let him cross the rainbow bridge. I called Judy because he just didn't want to come out from behind the couch.  I was at work and my mom was home. I was on the phone with Judy and on facebook messenger with my mom. I told Judy he isn't coming out. She connected with him. He told her he is in a lot of pain and is trying to save his energy so when I come home he feels up to being with me. Plus he told her he is sick of pills and the supplements.

Vet took his paw print. 
After making a promise the vet will be coming Saturday to send him to Heaven. She told him and she tells me he should be coming out from behind the couch. I asked my mom if he is coming out from behind the couch and sure enough he was. It was a Thursday. I found a vet that comes to the house to put down your pet. He spent Thursday and Friday on my lap 24/7. I stayed up really late Friday night. I didn't go to sleep until 3:00am. I fell asleep. Jakie went and sat on my mom's lap. She stayed up till 4:30am with him. Then I woke up at 5:00am and cuddled with him. He was purring so loud. Then at 9:00am, the vet came.

July 16, 2018, and I still haven't found it getting easier. Instead, I find it is getting worse. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am trying to stay very busy, but my health is doing a lot worst because I am not resting as much as I should. Every time I sit and rest I waiting for my boy to cuddle with me.

Click Here to watch a cute video of my Jakie

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Whitney Movie Review

After six years, a well thought out documentary on Whitney Houston has been made.  Whitney is an in-depth look at the life and music of Whitney Houston. Through two hours Kevin Macdonald, writer/director, gave an insight of what Whitney was going through throughout her life and career.

The movie opens up with a variety of what was happening during the year 1960s during Whitney’s childhood. Many snapshots and videos showing what her parents had to deal with while raising her and her brothers in Newwark, New Jersey with all the violence and race riots. The film then speeds fast forward to the 1980s where her career really takes off. We see her getting booed at the Soul Awards because the African American community felt she was turning white. Fame was slowing catching up to her. Whitney enjoyed sex and did play around with her sexuality trying to keep it secret to the press until she met R&B artist Bobby Brown. He changed her life for the better and for the worse. 
If you want to see Whitney in hopes of hearing Bobby Brown stating he caused her death then you will be walking out of the movie theatre in disappointment.  The movie shows Bobby Brown not being the one who started her on drugs. Instead, you learn of the family member who did. Now, the movie isn't saying Bobby Brown didn’t help her situation with drugs because he sure did, but there were other factors in her starting drugs.  Throughout the last half of the movie, Bobby Brown got very defensive with the interviewer asking lots of questions about Whitney and the drugs. Also, don't plan on learning much about Bobbi Kristina Brown. The documentary showed how her childhood was not great at all.  It showed how Whitney wasn't a mother to her instead she was more  I was shocked to find out Whitney got Bobbi started on drugs. It talks about how much Bobbi Kristina wanted to shoot her mother because she was so unhappy. 

Click Here for Interview
There were so many things I learned about Whitney through this documentary. This movie did not feel like two hours. It is very interesting with all the home videos, photos of her life and videos of what was happening throughout that time period.  Whitney shows Whitney’s raw side through behind the scenes home videos and interviews she had throughout her career.
The biggest take away from this movie is what she said during the ABC Interview with Diane Sawyer when Sawyer asked Whitney: “If you have to name the devil for you who what would it be?”

 Whitney replies, “That would be me. It’s my deciding. My heart. Its what I want and what I don’t want. Nobody makes me do anything I don’t want to do. It’s my decision so the biggest devil is me. I am either my best friend or the worst enemy and that is how I have to deal with it.” 

I would really recommend seeing this movie. 

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