Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Experience with a Drama Queen Friendship

Have you ever thought you met someone who you think will be a great friend, but then find out they are just using you to get to someone else or just wasn't there for you when you were there for them?

A year ago, I met someone who is in the theatre community. She started acting in my skits for my production companies web series. During the film shoots she and another actor started flirting with each. Eventually, after 3 months of knowing each other, they started hanging together a lot. Six months later he meets a girl on a Facebook live. They became girlfriend and boyfriend. She was devastated because she really loves him. His girlfriend was jealous and didn't want him to hang out with her because they use to be physical with each other,"Friends with benefits", so he stopped communicating with her. This is what caused our friendship to get stronger because the only way she could find out what was going on with him was through me.

We would go thrift shopping, garage sale-ing, and editing together.

I was always worried about her and made sure to be there for her, but she really never did that for me. When I lost my baby boy, Jakie (my 16 years old cat), who was my paws with cause animal. Jakie got me through some pretty hard times. She never really reached out to me. My other friend called me right after we put down and made me go out with her.  She never did that. Not only that, she never asks me how I was doing. I was always the one asking her how she is doing. If she wasn't front and center then she would get disgusted or upset.  She gets worked up about the littlest things, but I was okay with it because I loved her for who she is.

The first weekend of August we went to Saugatuck. She bossed us all around and complaining if we wanted to go into a store. My mom and my other two friends who came along with us wanted to go into a couple of stores, but she would tell us we can't go to no more than two stores because we were running out of time except she ended up having us go into four s
tores she wanted to go into.  During lunch in Saugatuck, we talked about our vacation plan and trying to figure out if my other friend could make it.  I thought she was listening to the conversation but learned she wasn't.

I know she is going through a lot of stress after finding out in May the place she worked at was closing down her department.

A week later, we were talking about the August schedule. She told me she had plans for every weekend. We were going to the Henry Ford Museum on August 17-19. She told me she was going with friends to a music festival concert.  Understand during the month of June and July she was giving us every excuse why we shouldn't go. The friend of mine, who is going on the trip, daughter is having a baby sometime at the beginning of September, so she kept telling this friend she can't go.  When she scheduled going to this music festival with her friends this made us feel really bad. It really hurt our feelings. If she wanted to go with us so bad why did she make every excuse not to go and why didn't she keep asking us the gameplan.

The last week of July,  She arrived at our production meeting with a poor attitude. She went to Ohio with a friend to attend an Avon convention. We asked her how it was and she snapped at us. I assigned my intern to come up with some story ideas of why a particular character isn't in an episode and ideas on backup scripts just in case one of these characters can't make it. Three of our actors are looking for jobs, so I wanted backup scripts just in case they can't get out of work.  She took that as us writing her out and the other characters out.
Click Here for Photo

I immediately messaged her that night after the meeting to make sure she knows we aren't writing anyone out. I just want some episodes without certain characters so when the person can't make it we have backup scripts. I heard nothing back from her.  She did the silent treatment for a little bit until August 17.  She started talking to me again, but then my mom posted we are leaving for our trip. She was so mad that wasn't coming with us. I called her up to told her she can still come if she wants. We weren't leaving until 1:30pm. I let her know this at 10:00am, but she didn't respond.

My gut feeling tells me she told everyone she is the victim and we are the bad people. If she wanted to go with us so bad she would have kept asking us about the details of the trip instead she made every excuse why we and she shouldn't go.

I felt like a horrid person for all the miscommunication and assuming, but she really hurt our feelings when we set this date to go and she scheduled plans with her other friends.

On Aug 26th, I asked her if she hates me because she completely stopped talking to me. She said she doesn't.  She told me she isn't a filmmaker and doesn't want to do films, but yet she is already doing films. The web series we have shot is film. She also mentioned she isn't keen on the group growing but was also complaining about the films we shot not releasing faster. I sent her a long text message explaining what is happening and how much time it takes. Here she is complaining about our group getting bigger, but is also complaining we aren't getting stuff out there fast enough. I am trying to get the group bigger so I am not having to do everything all by myself so things can get done faster. In that text message, I told her we are shooting on September 8 and to let me know if she can make it. She never replied back, so I assumed she didn't want to do this anymore. I wasn't going to bug her about it.

Wednesday, September 5 she posted a meme that said: "That moment you figured out that no one reached out to you for a project this weekend.."

I was so hurt by this post because I did tell her about the shoot.  I told her to tell me if she was going to make it, but she didn't reply.
That night my friend, who is also an executive producer, decided it was time to nip it in the butt and go to her house to talk to her because we are sick of her playing the victim card.

It was very awkward. During this intervention, she kept trying to blame us for everything. Come to find out she didn't even read the text message that asked her if she was able to make it to the shoot on the 8th or not. Here she is telling everyone we didn't ask her when she didn't even read the message I sent her. The worse part is she never took down this stupid post after the meeting we had with her. That shows me right there she likes people feeling sorry for her and likes to play the victim. I know she is not telling her friend, who has acted in a few our skits, the whole truth. She only told him her side of the story and most likely made it really big.  He was scheduled to come act in the skit on Sept 8th, but my gut kept telling me he isn't going to show.

During this awkward meeting, we also told her we are planning on going back to Greenfield Village and the Henry Ford Museum in October. Just like she did for the August vacation she made every excuse why she can't go. We told her we are looking at going October 13th.  She didn't even say "Let me get my calendar and see what weekend works." All she kept saying was "I'm not sure what is happening if October." Again if you want to go with us and go to the museum why wouldn't you write it in your calendar especially since you don't have set plans yet for the month.
At the end of this awkward meeting, we made plans to go to the Goodwill Outlet on Friday.
I had to laugh because Friday night she posted she is going to a football game in October. Oh wait, I'm confused, I thought you didn't want to schedule anything in October yet because you don't know what is happening. I see where we are stand. This is what I mean.  She did this same thing for August, but yet we are the bad guys. She has really hurt our feelings especially mine.

Our film shoot date, Saturday, September 8th, arrived. Well, he didn't cancel the night before, instead, he came on set told us he was sick and left 20 minutes later. He told us he had a sore throat and was dizzy and is coming down with the flu bug, but the next day he looked great having fun with the person I've been talking about in this post.  I am so glad I planned a backup and listened to my gut.  This confirms she is telling a lot of false information and is playing the victim.

Will our friendship be like it was? No, because she is telling people she is the victim and we have treated her poorly when we have done nothing wrong. We have been there for her. We have gone to her balcony when she was having a bad day. We took her out to keep her mind busy when she was dealing with stress.

Characteristics of Drama Queen Friends:
1. Quick to denigrate, demean and ridicule others- Their perspective, its the other person who is at fault, the drama queen never is. They put blame on others is their prime defense mechanism.

2. Are evasive and convincing- They will hide and do anything to not have to look at their own self or take responsibility. They often unable to see how they are the cause of their own problems, and will subconsciously or consciously do anything to avoid the truth.

3. They have the ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing. - They need to over-analyze every conversation or text to the point where they convinced someone is trying to start trouble.

4. Tend to always have 'boy trouble'

5. Puts everything on Facebook- All eyes must be on them.

6. Easily have tantrums if it doesn't go their way.

What sort of things will a drama queen do to control you?

1. They have to be the center of attention-
Crave attention and spotlight.  They will feel as if they have an entitlement to all this attention and that no one else matters. While they are claiming this attention, any problems you might be having are deemed as unimportant.

2. They make everything personal-
Anything that happens in the world will personally affect them. They will post on social media after a tragedy about their feelings and how it has affected them. In their minds, everything is about them, and they will take the slightest comment or action and turn it into their own personal story.

3. They blow everything out of proportion-
The slightest little thing that the majority of us will just brush off as a minor incident is a major catastrophe for them.

4. They stir up dramatic situations-
They create situations that allow them to shine. They will manipulate and gossip in order to help these situations grow and then stand back and watch the drama unfold. Whilst you are preoccupied with dealing with the fallout, they are sitting back and watching it.

5. They will immerse themselves in other people's dramas-
They insert themselves into other people's problems, making out that they can help them or by living vicariously through them.

6. They are critical of everyone and everything-
Nothing is good enough for them and act like the authoritative voice on whatever subject comes up. Your views and ideas are irrelevant. They are the expert, they know perfection when they see it.

7. They are hysterical about the tiniest things-
The smallest situation will be enough to set them off. They will be constantly in tears, storming out of meetings etc. Their default setting is "stressed out" and you never know when they are going to erupt next.

I totally understand this is her personality and love her for who she is. All I have to say is my feelings have been really hurt and don't feel I have been treated like a friend because friendship is being honest with each other.  Friendship is being able to sit down and tell each other how they are feeling.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again! Pre-screen Movie Review

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again! doesn't come out until July 20th, but my mom and I won two tickets for an early screening.  We were so excited and couldn't wait to see it. As we walk into the theatre there are security guards ask us to put our phones in our purse. The theatre next to ours they were physically taking phones away from people and putting them in envelopes.

I believe they were viewing the new Van Disel movie. Anyways, I was so excited because I loved the first Mamma Mia! Plus I love ABBA
and the Broadway musical too.

The 270 seats were all full and everyone eating their popcorn and candy.  The music started to play as the Legendary Entertainment logo is played on the screen.we were so excited.

The cast from the first one is all reunited except for one character and you will have to see the movie to find out who that character is. This sequel's story was not what I thought it was going to be about. The trailer makes it seem to be all about Sophie having a baby and everyone reuniting for it but that isn't the case.

Even Google's logline of Here We Go Again! is:
Sophie finds out more about her mother's past while seeking guidance on how to handle her pregnancy.
Instead, there is a huge spin to the story and it didn't focus on Sophie being pregnant. You didn't find that out until the very end of the movie.  The movie focuses on Sophie reopening the hotel and while she is getting the hotel up and running we flashback to Donna's young adulthood when she met Sam, Bill, and Harry. This is why I am saying I am not a huge fan of what the writers did. It worked and was still entertaining, but it could have been so much better.

I don't want to spoil it too much but let's just say Donna (Meryl Streep) is only in 1% of the movie so if you are going to see it because of Meryl Streep you will be very disappointed. Cher is in it more than Meryl.  I would have loved to have seen the trailers not show who the grandmother is and had it a complete surprise.
Most of ABBA's biggest songs were in the first film, Here We Go Again has plenty of music and dancing. Most of the music and dancing has a 60s twist. The costumes are so much fun. The location is just gorgeous. There is a lot of greenscreen work Unlike the first one, there isn't any nudity and is really clean, but just because it is clean doesn't mean it doesn't have some funny jokes. There are many great jokes in this film.

I would give this film a 5/10 stars. It was a fun movie, but nothing but a fun movie. I didn't leave wanting to see again like I did with the first one.


Monday, July 16, 2018

I Lost My Best Friend

Hi readers. I have been struggling with life as we speak. My rock, my baby boy, my best friend past away the end of May.  As many of you know Jakie, my baby boy was suffering from sinus cancer and a liver mass. I was really hoping I could get one more year with him. I wanted to see him turn 17 years old. We didn't make it. He did, however, live longer than the vet told us. She told me 3-4 weeks, but he lived for 23 weeks.

He was doing so well in December- February, but by the end of March he cancer started taking over his right eye and his nose had a lot of discharge which had to be suctioned out 2-4 times a day. Then at the end of April, he started retaining fluid on his abdomen. The vet put him on water pills.  The vet was having me give him 2 - 1/2 tablets a day. I don't know if the water pills were killing his appetite or if the fluid plus the liver mass was causing him not to want to eat. He ate but nothing like he used to.  But because he wasn't eating much he was losing a lot more muscle and having a harder time getting up and down on furniture.  The 2 week of May his belly was so huge I thought for sure he was going to die right there in front of me. I called the vet and immediately got him in. I wasn't able to get him into his regular vet, but in some aspect, I was grateful because his regular vet seemed to really not do too much for him. The vet took him away and pulled out 1 1/2 pounds of fluid and he couldn't have kept going too. I wish the vet did this a lot sooner because maybe his appetite would have been better.  As a pet owner, it is incredibly hard to make the decision to put someone you love down when they are still eating, watching out the window, cuddling and going to kitty box in the basement even when you put one upstairs to make it easier.

Throughout this process, I was communicating with Jakie through a pet communicator. Judy Liu Ramsey was amazing. The stuff she said no one would know. I knew she was real when she was talking about him loved car rides especially looking at Christmas lights. He enjoys watching animal videos. His favorite toy was his butterfly catnip toy. I never told her any of that. There are no words to describe how much I appreciated her. She was able to tell me how he is feeling and what he wanted. Jakie told her he wants to die at home in my arms. When I first talked to her in December Jakie told her he wants to go naturally and not be put down with the medicine, but by May he was way too much in pain to go naturally. Plus, he told her he doesn't know if he can keep his body going to die in my arms.

Heart to Heart Animal Communication
By the third week of May, he started hiding more and only coming out at night. He was also fighting me to get his pills and supplements down. He also was only eating one canned cat food a day.  I knew it is time to let him cross the rainbow bridge. I called Judy because he just didn't want to come out from behind the couch.  I was at work and my mom was home. I was on the phone with Judy and on facebook messenger with my mom. I told Judy he isn't coming out. She connected with him. He told her he is in a lot of pain and is trying to save his energy so when I come home he feels up to being with me. Plus he told her he is sick of pills and the supplements.

Vet took his paw print. 
After making a promise the vet will be coming Saturday to send him to Heaven. She told him and she tells me he should be coming out from behind the couch. I asked my mom if he is coming out from behind the couch and sure enough he was. It was a Thursday. I found a vet that comes to the house to put down your pet. He spent Thursday and Friday on my lap 24/7. I stayed up really late Friday night. I didn't go to sleep until 3:00am. I fell asleep. Jakie went and sat on my mom's lap. She stayed up till 4:30am with him. Then I woke up at 5:00am and cuddled with him. He was purring so loud. Then at 9:00am, the vet came.

July 16, 2018, and I still haven't found it getting easier. Instead, I find it is getting worse. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am trying to stay very busy, but my health is doing a lot worst because I am not resting as much as I should. Every time I sit and rest I waiting for my boy to cuddle with me.

Click Here to watch a cute video of my Jakie

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Whitney Movie Review

After six years, a well thought out documentary on Whitney Houston has been made.  Whitney is an in-depth look at the life and music of Whitney Houston. Through two hours Kevin Macdonald, writer/director, gave an insight of what Whitney was going through throughout her life and career.

The movie opens up with a variety of what was happening during the year 1960s during Whitney’s childhood. Many snapshots and videos showing what her parents had to deal with while raising her and her brothers in Newwark, New Jersey with all the violence and race riots. The film then speeds fast forward to the 1980s where her career really takes off. We see her getting booed at the Soul Awards because the African American community felt she was turning white. Fame was slowing catching up to her. Whitney enjoyed sex and did play around with her sexuality trying to keep it secret to the press until she met R&B artist Bobby Brown. He changed her life for the better and for the worse. 
If you want to see Whitney in hopes of hearing Bobby Brown stating he caused her death then you will be walking out of the movie theatre in disappointment.  The movie shows Bobby Brown not being the one who started her on drugs. Instead, you learn of the family member who did. Now, the movie isn't saying Bobby Brown didn’t help her situation with drugs because he sure did, but there were other factors in her starting drugs.  Throughout the last half of the movie, Bobby Brown got very defensive with the interviewer asking lots of questions about Whitney and the drugs. Also, don't plan on learning much about Bobbi Kristina Brown. The documentary showed how her childhood was not great at all.  It showed how Whitney wasn't a mother to her instead she was more  I was shocked to find out Whitney got Bobbi started on drugs. It talks about how much Bobbi Kristina wanted to shoot her mother because she was so unhappy. 

Click Here for Interview
There were so many things I learned about Whitney through this documentary. This movie did not feel like two hours. It is very interesting with all the home videos, photos of her life and videos of what was happening throughout that time period.  Whitney shows Whitney’s raw side through behind the scenes home videos and interviews she had throughout her career.
The biggest take away from this movie is what she said during the ABC Interview with Diane Sawyer when Sawyer asked Whitney: “If you have to name the devil for you who what would it be?”

 Whitney replies, “That would be me. It’s my deciding. My heart. Its what I want and what I don’t want. Nobody makes me do anything I don’t want to do. It’s my decision so the biggest devil is me. I am either my best friend or the worst enemy and that is how I have to deal with it.” 

I would really recommend seeing this movie. 

Monday, July 9, 2018

Jody Hedlund Newton and Polly

Books pass the time when I'm at the doctors' offices, so I thought I would put some book reviews on here.   I got my hands on Jody Hedlund's book Newton & Polly.  I was drawn to her book because of the cover and description.            
This is a typical historical faith romance. A boy meets girl, but boy or girl has to fight to be together, usually because of religious views and financial class.  Newton & Polly reminds me a lot of West Side Story and even Romeo and Juliet
John Newton, a sailor, who sails the sea just living life because he has to.  His father finds him jobs but he tends to screw them up. One day, Newton meets a beautiful dashing woman but is faced with the reality of her being of the wealthy class and he isn’t. She falls madly in love with him, but her father says, "no".  Newton won't take "no" for an answer.  Polly's father will do whatever he can to make sure Newton, the bad boy, will stay clear away from her.  Will they end up together or will he sail across the sea and never return?
            Hedlund wrote this book in three parts.
1. Part one is the introduction of these characters.
2. Part two is them being together and fight to stay together.
3. The final part is the ending. You probably thought I was going to say what happened in the final part, but I am not going to spoil it for you.  
There are conflicts in the story especially for John Newton, but they aren’t told in depth.  For me, there were many parts of this book I felt really dragged. I believe it was because the conflicts went by really quickly.  I wished Newton had a friend and mentor in the story.  For some reason,  I just could not connect with either of these characters. This is the reason I couldn't get into the story. 
Would I recommend this book? Yes, because you might enjoy it more than me. 

"I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review."

Friday, June 15, 2018

I Love Lucy Funko

OMG!! I can't believe it. Pop!  Funko is coming out with an I Love Lucy line. You don't know how excited I am. I love anything Lucille Ball & I Love Lucy. I have a huge collection. One day I should show you my collection because it is pretty crazy.   According to Funko's site, they will be coming out sometime in August 2018. Barnes and Noble and Target will have the exclusive black and white version.


Thursday, April 5, 2018

Courageous Women of the Bible Book

Award-winning author and speaker Latan Roland Murphy's book "Courageous Women of the Bible" " empowers women through stories of choices that positioned them for success. She encourages her readers to look beyond their circumstances by laying out ways to develop more courage through scripture. She has her readers look at eleven biblical stories such as  Deborah, Widow with Two Coins, Joel, Abigail, Bathsheba, Samantain Women, Mary, Mother of Jesus, Shulammite Women described, Shunammite Women.
As someone who isn't very familiar with the Bible I had a hard time connecting the women from the Bible and relating it to myself without having to do more studying. However, I did find some very inspiring messages such as:

"Obstacles are simply opportunities with God by our side." "Own your tomorrow by making your way to Jesus today" -p. 48

There are many great messages in her book. However, I really wish she explained in detail more on the eleven stories as well as giving examples of to imply those stories to your life.

A lot of material in this book had a tendency to be repetitive. At the end of each chapter, there are discussion questions. This book would a good read for a Women's Bible Study.  The back of the book has a lined journal which really loved.

I couldn't help but laugh when she explained "filling up with God will help you not waste your time on loser guys." I find it is interesting women especially Christian women only look at life around men. Couldn't women find other things to waste time on such as going out to drink or wasting time on a job that isn't going anywhere?

The main message I received from Murphy's book is:
 "Our goal is to become courageous who leave behind fear and intimidation for a life of confidence and freedom." p.39

"Review for Bethany Christian"

Experience with a Drama Queen Friendship

Have you ever thought you met someone who you think will be a great friend, but then find out they are just using you to get to someone else...