Monday, July 16, 2018

I Lost My Best Friend

Hi readers. I have been struggling with life as we speak. My rock, my baby boy, my best friend past away the end of May.  As many of you know Jakie, my baby boy was suffering from sinus cancer and a liver mass. I was really hoping I could get one more year with him. I wanted to see him turn 17 years old. We didn't make it. He did, however, live longer than the vet told us. She told me 3-4 weeks, but he lived for 23 weeks.

He was doing so well in December- February, but by the end of March he cancer started taking over his right eye and his nose had a lot of discharge which had to be suctioned out 2-4 times a day. Then at the end of April, he started retaining fluid on his abdomen. The vet put him on water pills.  The vet was having me give him 2 - 1/2 tablets a day. I don't know if the water pills were killing his appetite or if the fluid plus the liver mass was causing him not to want to eat. He ate but nothing like he used to.  But because he wasn't eating much he was losing a lot more muscle and having a harder time getting up and down on furniture.  The 2 week of May his belly was so huge I thought for sure he was going to die right there in front of me. I called the vet and immediately got him in. I wasn't able to get him into his regular vet, but in some aspect, I was grateful because his regular vet seemed to really not do too much for him. The vet took him away and pulled out 1 1/2 pounds of fluid and he couldn't have kept going too. I wish the vet did this a lot sooner because maybe his appetite would have been better.  As a pet owner, it is incredibly hard to make the decision to put someone you love down when they are still eating, watching out the window, cuddling and going to kitty box in the basement even when you put one upstairs to make it easier.

Throughout this process, I was communicating with Jakie through a pet communicator. Judy Liu Ramsey was amazing. The stuff she said no one would know. I knew she was real when she was talking about him loved car rides especially looking at Christmas lights. He enjoys watching animal videos. His favorite toy was his butterfly catnip toy. I never told her any of that. There are no words to describe how much I appreciated her. She was able to tell me how he is feeling and what he wanted. Jakie told her he wants to die at home in my arms. When I first talked to her in December Jakie told her he wants to go naturally and not be put down with the medicine, but by May he was way too much in pain to go naturally. Plus, he told her he doesn't know if he can keep his body going to die in my arms.

Heart to Heart Animal Communication
By the third week of May, he started hiding more and only coming out at night. He was also fighting me to get his pills and supplements down. He also was only eating one canned cat food a day.  I knew it is time to let him cross the rainbow bridge. I called Judy because he just didn't want to come out from behind the couch.  I was at work and my mom was home. I was on the phone with Judy and on facebook messenger with my mom. I told Judy he isn't coming out. She connected with him. He told her he is in a lot of pain and is trying to save his energy so when I come home he feels up to being with me. Plus he told her he is sick of pills and the supplements.

Vet took his paw print. 
After making a promise the vet will be coming Saturday to send him to Heaven. She told him and she tells me he should be coming out from behind the couch. I asked my mom if he is coming out from behind the couch and sure enough he was. It was a Thursday. I found a vet that comes to the house to put down your pet. He spent Thursday and Friday on my lap 24/7. I stayed up really late Friday night. I didn't go to sleep until 3:00am. I fell asleep. Jakie went and sat on my mom's lap. She stayed up till 4:30am with him. Then I woke up at 5:00am and cuddled with him. He was purring so loud. Then at 9:00am, the vet came.

July 16, 2018, and I still haven't found it getting easier. Instead, I find it is getting worse. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am trying to stay very busy, but my health is doing a lot worst because I am not resting as much as I should. Every time I sit and rest I waiting for my boy to cuddle with me.

Click Here to watch a cute video of my Jakie

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Whitney Movie Review

After six years, a well thought out documentary on Whitney Houston has been made.  Whitney is an in-depth look at the life and music of Whitney Houston. Through two hours Kevin Macdonald, writer/director, gave an insight of what Whitney was going through throughout her life and career.

The movie opens up with a variety of what was happening during the year 1960s during Whitney’s childhood. Many snapshots and videos showing what her parents had to deal with while raising her and her brothers in Newwark, New Jersey with all the violence and race riots. The film then speeds fast forward to the 1980s where her career really takes off. We see her getting booed at the Soul Awards because the African American community felt she was turning white. Fame was slowing catching up to her. Whitney enjoyed sex and did play around with her sexuality trying to keep it secret to the press until she met R&B artist Bobby Brown. He changed her life for the better and for the worse. 
If you want to see Whitney in hopes of hearing Bobby Brown stating he caused her death then you will be walking out of the movie theatre in disappointment.  The movie shows Bobby Brown not being the one who started her on drugs. Instead, you learn of the family member who did. Now, the movie isn't saying Bobby Brown didn’t help her situation with drugs because he sure did, but there were other factors in her starting drugs.  Throughout the last half of the movie, Bobby Brown got very defensive with the interviewer asking lots of questions about Whitney and the drugs. Also, don't plan on learning much about Bobbi Kristina Brown. The documentary showed how her childhood was not great at all.  It showed how Whitney wasn't a mother to her instead she was more  I was shocked to find out Whitney got Bobbi started on drugs. It talks about how much Bobbi Kristina wanted to shoot her mother because she was so unhappy. 

Click Here for Interview
There were so many things I learned about Whitney through this documentary. This movie did not feel like two hours. It is very interesting with all the home videos, photos of her life and videos of what was happening throughout that time period.  Whitney shows Whitney’s raw side through behind the scenes home videos and interviews she had throughout her career.
The biggest take away from this movie is what she said during the ABC Interview with Diane Sawyer when Sawyer asked Whitney: “If you have to name the devil for you who what would it be?”

 Whitney replies, “That would be me. It’s my deciding. My heart. Its what I want and what I don’t want. Nobody makes me do anything I don’t want to do. It’s my decision so the biggest devil is me. I am either my best friend or the worst enemy and that is how I have to deal with it.” 

I would really recommend seeing this movie. 

Monday, July 9, 2018

Jody Hedlund Newton and Polly

Books pass the time when I'm at the doctors' offices, so I thought I would put some book reviews on here.   I got my hands on Jody Hedlund's book Newton & Polly.  I was drawn to her book because of the cover and description.            
This is a typical historical faith romance. A boy meets girl, but boy or girl has to fight to be together, usually because of religious views and financial class.  Newton & Polly reminds me a lot of West Side Story and even Romeo and Juliet
John Newton, a sailor, who sails the sea just living life because he has to.  His father finds him jobs but he tends to screw them up. One day, Newton meets a beautiful dashing woman but is faced with the reality of her being of the wealthy class and he isn’t. She falls madly in love with him, but her father says, "no".  Newton won't take "no" for an answer.  Polly's father will do whatever he can to make sure Newton, the bad boy, will stay clear away from her.  Will they end up together or will he sail across the sea and never return?
            Hedlund wrote this book in three parts.
1. Part one is the introduction of these characters.
2. Part two is them being together and fight to stay together.
3. The final part is the ending. You probably thought I was going to say what happened in the final part, but I am not going to spoil it for you.  
There are conflicts in the story especially for John Newton, but they aren’t told in depth.  For me, there were many parts of this book I felt really dragged. I believe it was because the conflicts went by really quickly.  I wished Newton had a friend and mentor in the story.  For some reason,  I just could not connect with either of these characters. This is the reason I couldn't get into the story. 
Would I recommend this book? Yes, because you might enjoy it more than me. 

"I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review."

Friday, June 15, 2018

I Love Lucy Funko

OMG!! I can't believe it. Pop!  Funko is coming out with an I Love Lucy line. You don't know how excited I am. I love anything Lucille Ball & I Love Lucy. I have a huge collection. One day I should show you my collection because it is pretty crazy.   According to Funko's site, they will be coming out sometime in August 2018. Barnes and Noble and Target will have the exclusive black and white version.


Thursday, April 5, 2018

Courageous Women of the Bible Book

Award-winning author and speaker Latan Roland Murphy's book "Courageous Women of the Bible" " empowers women through stories of choices that positioned them for success. She encourages her readers to look beyond their circumstances by laying out ways to develop more courage through scripture. She has her readers look at eleven biblical stories such as  Deborah, Widow with Two Coins, Joel, Abigail, Bathsheba, Samantain Women, Mary, Mother of Jesus, Shulammite Women described, Shunammite Women.
As someone who isn't very familiar with the Bible I had a hard time connecting the women from the Bible and relating it to myself without having to do more studying. However, I did find some very inspiring messages such as:

"Obstacles are simply opportunities with God by our side." "Own your tomorrow by making your way to Jesus today" -p. 48

There are many great messages in her book. However, I really wish she explained in detail more on the eleven stories as well as giving examples of to imply those stories to your life.

A lot of material in this book had a tendency to be repetitive. At the end of each chapter, there are discussion questions. This book would a good read for a Women's Bible Study.  The back of the book has a lined journal which really loved.

I couldn't help but laugh when she explained "filling up with God will help you not waste your time on loser guys." I find it is interesting women especially Christian women only look at life around men. Couldn't women find other things to waste time on such as going out to drink or wasting time on a job that isn't going anywhere?

The main message I received from Murphy's book is:
 "Our goal is to become courageous who leave behind fear and intimidation for a life of confidence and freedom." p.39

"Review for Bethany Christian"

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Red Sparrow Quck Movie Review

Trailers sure can make movies look good.  For me, this is what happened with Red Sparrow.  Jennifer Lawerance plays a Russian Ballerina who gets injured and is forced into being a Russian spy by her uncle, so she can help pay for her sick mother. While on her mission she runs into an American spy who changes her mind into helping the American catch the Russian mole. This movie takes you on the journey of deciding whom can you trust and whom can you not trust. It is a movie with twists and turns. 

I am very surprised this movie was not rated NC-17 for the severity of the nudity, sex, and rape in this film. Red Sparrow is filled with lots of uncomfortable sex scenes.  Not only do you see Jennifer Lawerance's breasts and butt you will also see many men's penises as well. There is a lot of violence including some pretty graphic rape and sex scenes. I am all for movies that have sex and violence in them as long as it has a purpose.  Yes, the sex and violence in this film have a purpose. The violence in this film is important because it shows the vicious side of Russia and being a spy. It also shows what it is like to be a woman in that field.  
Jennifer Lawerence's performance, I felt wasn't her greatest work. It defiantly showed how uncomfortable she was with being nude and having to do the sex scenes. I don't blame her. I would be the same way.  In Hungar Games, you can see the emotions of fear but in Red Sparrow, she was just flat Throughout the film, there were many times when she lost her accent.  Joel Egerton, the American spy, didn't have much chemistry with Jennifer's character.  To me, Joel Edgerton didn't have a spy look. Maybe I am visualizing James Bond too much in my head.

SPOILER ALERT- Sitting there for 2 hours and 20 minutes watching their story unfold but leaving me hanging at the end was not fun. 

There were a lot of continuity issues especially when it comes to make-up/special effects make-up.  In one scene she has bruises on her arm and the next she doesn't. There is a scene of her covering her bruises up with make-up, but makeup does not cover up those types of bruises that easily. You still will see some sort of skin discoloration where the bruises are. Plus, not only did she have bruises she had cuts and scrapes as well and makeup does not cover over fresh cuts and scrapes.

Yes, I know what you are thinking, Is there any positives to the movie?  The costumes were well done. The locations really showed two sides of Russia. Each location had different textures.  The cinematography was excellent. My favorite scene was when Joel's character is running from the Russians through the park. The street lights and the moon shining down on him was gorgeous.  The editing was pretty well done. There were a couple of crossing the 180-degree rule. It didn't take away from the film and non-filmmakers wouldn't notice it. The editing kept the scene fresh and kept you knowing the geography of the room.    SPOILER ALERT-  If they might have cut thirty minutes it could have been more of a solid movie especially since the ending really didn't end. 

You may be wondering how many stars I would give it. You probably aren't, but I will tell you anyways. lol.  I would give it 2 out of 5 stars. If I didn't have my Moviepass card I would have been very upset spending $10.00 on this movie.  I would highly suggest seeing it when it comes to Netflix or the $1.00 rentals. Unless you want to see Jennifer Lawerance naked on the big screen then you will not want to wait till it hits DVD.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Chronic Ear Infections

May of 2017 I had a really bad ear infection. I have had sinus infections all the time, but never ear problems. After a variety of antiobotics and ear drops it seemed to go away. Two months later I got another one. My ENT doctor put me back on some more antiobotics and ear drops. It went away again after a month of fighting it again. Then in August it came back again. This time it caused a couple of holes in my ear drum. My ENT said I need surgery. He told me he is going to repair the ear drum and put in a tube. I had to wait 2 1/2 weeks for surgery.  In the meantime he stuck some purple stuff in my ear. This caused my ear to be completely plugged. 

Four days before my surgery I got into some gluten causing me to vomit. I was stupid and desided to do a paid taste testing thinking I could get away with it. I was completely wrong. The $30 I made was not worth it. Everytime I throw up it made me get really dizzy. The dizziness caused me to vomit some more. I ended up going to ER because I couldn't keep my pheregan pill down. The ER gave me some IV pheregan and hydration through an IV.   

Surgery day approached. I was terrified but was ready to stop suffering from ear infections. You don't realize what symptoms come from having ear infections. This includes, dizziness, headaches, neck aches, severe neasuea, vertigo, hissing sounds, hearing my heart rate, hearing loss, severe pressure in the ear and list goes on.  
My ENT told me that he didn't have to repair my ear drum because it healed, but he did put a tube in. 
Having a tube put in isn't horrid. It did take me 3 days for the pain to go away.  I had to be careful what I did for 2 weeks. I couldn't lift anything heavy or blow my nose. 

Having the tubes in was very helpful. But then in October my ear was acting really funny. It felt like another ear infection was approaching. My ENT took a look at it and said it looks fine.  
Ear Wax/Purple Medication fell out of my ear

Another ear infection happened to me in January. This time it was worse then the ones before. I ended up on four different antibotics, steriods, five different ear drops because each one didn't get rid of it. I had to get my ear suctioned out 1-2 times every week. Eventually he cultured the fluid in my ear, which was very painful.  It came back showing I had a fungus type  infection. He disagreed with the results because he feels it is still bacteria because fungus doesnt look like what he is seeing. However he does think yeast is growing in my ear due to it being so wet from the infection. After getting the results he decided to put me on another round of antibotics and created a special ear drop compound. It seemed to work except the compound ear drop plugged my tube causing all the infection and fungus to get caught behind the ear drum. This made it so I had to get the tube pulled out in the doctors office. He pulled the tube out with any numbing. At this point he didn't want to do anything. Instead he wanted to wait a week and see what it does. 

Well a week went by and the pressure and hearing loss was still pretty bad. He told me the yeast/fungus and bacteria looks like it is better, but my ear drum healed and trapped all the fluid behind the ear drum. This means he has to cut it open and drain it.  
My First Ear Surgery August 2018
He numbed it up. The way they numb the ear is the same way they would with anything else. He had to give me two shots inside my ear.  You cannot move one bit while he does that. It burned like hell. He was extremely concerned I could be having a spinal cord leak. Once he cut and tried to sample the fluid but couldn't because it was so thick. He said it is what he calls cement glue. Because there was so much of he there was no way he could get the right sample.   Let me tell you that was incrediably painful. It took about 15 minutes. He suctioned it out. It took about 10 minutes of suctioning.  He confirmed I need to have surgery to clean out the tissue around the ear, ear drum and in behind the ear. To do this he will have to drill a hole in my skull.  In the meantime a tube must be put it. I asked him if I could just wait until surgery. He told me he wouldn't recommend waiting to put the tube in. Plus, he already cut open a hole in my ear drum and it is numbed up. I agreed to put it in. Then he told me he needs to give me two more shots in the ear to numb it. Darn it. He freakin lied to me. The hardest part is you cannot move, swollow and flinch. He had a hard time getting the tube in causing alot it to be very uncomfortable. This appointment was the last week of Feburary 2018. 

The soonest they could get me in is March 29th. I saw him last week and my ear is looking pretty good, but he still recommends getting the surgery done to prevent the infection from coming back. He feels like there is still infection particulars that is behind the ear drum and in the tissue area around the back of ear and skull. He feels that is the reason for it coming back after getting the tube in August. 

I am not looking forward to it, but I am also looking forward to maybe getting my normal hearing back. I will keep you all posted on how it went. Please keep me in your prayers. 

I Lost My Best Friend

Hi readers. I have been struggling with life as we speak. My rock, my baby boy, my best friend past away the end of May.  As many of you kno...